I have
spent a lot of time in schools and in libraries. As a matter of fact just last night I was at a university library. I was reading Teresa
Amabile and Steven Kramer's book The Progress Principle. It is
a very interesting book and it disputes a lot of what we think we
know. But, that book is not the point of this post.
What I
have found, over time, is that scholastic aptitude is not the main
determinant of success. Meaning, book smarts do no necessarily
translate into success. We all know this. But, have you ever wonder
what does lead to success (I usually prefer the word
“effectiveness”)? I have wondered that question and I believe the
main determinant seems to be how we handle fear. Most people avoid
it.
Do you
know anyone who is really smart, anyone who talks a big game, but
never really accomplishes much? Of course, you do. We all do.
Regardless of whatever excuses they may make, what holds that person
back is fear. Some might say underachievers simply lack motivation
but I do not believe that to be the case.
I agree
that lots of people do lack motivation. But why? I believe that fear
zaps our motivation. A big problem is that we often do not even
realize we are afraid. We simply feel uncomfortable. (This is something I wrote about here) As you know, there are lots of things
we fear. But, one of the most insidious forms of fear is doubt.
Because we can doubt ourselves and be in complete denial about it.
What is
doubt? Well, at least when it comes to success and effectiveness,
doubt is basically the fear of failure. We often doubt that we can
succeed and that is the same thing as saying we are afraid of
failure. All-in-all, fear, in all its various forms, will destroy
your life. Because, as Dan Gilbert says, we don't regret the things we do nearly as much as the things we do not do.
What I am saying is, not only
should we not
avoid the things we fear, I believe we should do the very things we
fear. If you fear it, do it. We should actually use fear as a beacon
to point us towards the challenges we must attack. Why would we want
to do this?
A couple
weeks ago I talked about how growth is an imperative of life (Here it is) In addition to that truism, I also believe that humans yearn for
freedom. I hope you can agree with me when I say that fear makes
slaves of us all. The limits of our courage dictate the limits of our
freedom.
So, on
the one hand, we want to overcome our fears so we can enjoy the
rewarding feelings that come with growth. While, on the other hand, we may
want to overcome our fears so we can free ourselves from the mental
shackles that hold us down.
Whatever
the motivation, I recommend we overcome our fears. Because I believe
it is largely fear that zaps our motivation. The fear of failure. The
fear of being judged. The fear of being seen to be less than perfect.
And on and on and on. My prescription? As counter-intuitive as it is,
I recommend we use fear as a beacon to point us in the direction we
must travel. Stated differently, get comfortable being uncomfortable or spend the last of your days under the avalanche of
regret.
