The
other day I was reading an interview, with Ellen DeGeneres, from
March. In the article Ellen said something very interesting. She
said, “I'm hosting the Oscars–because it's a really terrifying
thing to do.” I love that! I don't know whether or not Ellen would
use the nerdy “p-word.” But, she is definitely aware of the
importance of the paradox.
To do
something because it is scary is the very definition of a paradox. It
is completely counter-intuitive. It's also very important. It is an
idea I have heard, time and again, from successful people. A lot of
successful people use fear to indicate the direction they should
head. Meaning, when they fear something, they know that exact thing
is what they must do.
Fear is
arguably the most destructive force in modern life. Humans fear all
kinds of stuff. Back in the day, when our survival was constantly in
question, fear was an adaptive response. However, in the 21st
Century, in America, surviving day-to-day is a given. The problem is
that no one told our brain.
The
human brain is literally wired for anxiety. Anxiety is a a radar,
it's our warning system. The emotion anxiety is meant to alert us of
danger. For most of human existence we lived out in the open. Sure,
we built shelters. But, they were nothing like modern houses.
This
means, for the majority of the time humans have been on earth, we
have been exposed to fairly high levels of danger. Anxiety is the
body's way of alerting us of danger. Given this arrangement, false
positives are acceptable. Meaning, when you live on the open plain
and you hear a rustling of sticks or leaves, it is best to feel fear.
Because this fear prepares us to flee or fight.
If the
noise we hear is the result of a predator we are prepared to fight of
run. If the noise was caused by the wind, or something, no big deal.
We might feel some butterflies in our stomach. But, at least we're
still alive. Better to be prepared than not. Hence the value of the
false positive.
Undoubtedly
there were humans that were more calm and serene. But they wouldn't
last very long. The tranquil people would ignore the sound in the
bush and eventually get eaten. They would be wiped out of the gene
pool. Hopefully you can see why famed psychologist, Aaron Beck, said,
“Evolution favors anxious genes.”
This is
important to recognize because it teaches us about our tendencies.
When we feel fearful, our first assumptions should be that our brain
is being overly vigilant. If we know something about the architecture
our our mind, namely that it tends toward false positives, then we
can better cope with the vicissitudes of life.
I once
heard it said that we have a Fred Flintstone brain, but we live in a
George Jetson world. I think this is a useful analogy. Because the
reality of life has changed (at least in the developed world.) We now
live in well-built houses, with deadbolt locks on the doors, and 911
on the dial. The level of danger that humans experience, day-to-day,
is quite low.
For this
reason fear has gone from being adaptive to being maladaptive.
Meaning, fear used to keep us alive. Now, it mostly holds us back. If
we simply understand this human tendency we are better able to handle
it. Ellen DeGeneres seems to have figured it out. And, she can teach
us the modern paradox that safety is just danger out of place.
Meaning, in a competitive world, being comfortable is the road to
ultimate discomfort.
Listen,
if you live in a tribal land, or third world country, fear has an
important role to play. However, if you live in America, as I am
fortunate enough to, fear will get in your way. For this reason it is
advisable to do the very thing you fear. A pretty good rule of thumb
is to use fear as a beacon, directing you to the very things you
should do. This is what Ellen is doing. Or, to put this whole thing
in the words of Emerson, “Do the thing you fear and the death of
fear is certain.”
