Some
people say it is crazy to write a blog about paradoxes. I disagree. I
believe paradoxes are central to our existence. And so, I think it is
a good idea to understand what a paradox is and how to make sense of
it.
As you
probably know, one way to explain a paradox is that it is an idea
which seems to be a contradiction but is in fact true, or may be
true. An example would be, “The only constant is change.” That
statement contradicts itself but it is true.
In
addition to paradoxes, I am a big believer in intuition. I believe it
is often a good idea to follow my gut. However, I do realize there is
a problem. The problem is that a lot of reality is counter-intuitive.
For example, paradoxes are counter-intuitive. So, I believe we need
to practice identifying the boundaries of our intuition.
Let's
run through a quick example. Emerson once said, “Do the thing you
fear.” Totally counter-intuitive because, understandably, most
people avoid the things they fear. We do not always admit we are
avoiding things. We might say we are too busy or we might say our
spouse won't let us. When in reality we are making excuses for our
avoidance behavior.
I think
it is safe to say, the idea of doing things we fear seems practically
insane (This is something I have written about before) We construct our lives to be comfortable, so why would we
intentionally make ourselves uncomfortable? To my way of thinking,
the reason we should do the things we fear is because growth is the
imperative.
It
appears we have been put on this earth to grow. Each of us might have
different strengths and different callings. But, one thing we all
have in common is the desire to grow. In fact, we are hard-wired to
grow. We enjoy growing.
Think
about it. Think about a time when you accomplished something
difficult and worthwhile. Something that caused you to grow.
Something that cause you to improvement yourself. Do you look back at
that accomplishment with pride? Are you happy you did it?
We do
not necessarily enjoy the growth process while it is happening.
However, upon reflection, a lot of our best experiences are times
when we struggle to accomplish a worthy goal. We are literally
hard-wired to enjoy growing.
Why am I
saying this? Well, let's go back to Emerson's quote. The complete
quote is, “Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is
certain.” What was Emerson talking about? He was talking about
growth. For most of us, fear is what holds us back. By definition,
growing means changing. And, most of us are afraid of change. Oh,
sure, we do not usually admit we are afraid. As I said before, we
come up with all kinds of inventive excuses, blames, and
justification. But, in reality, this is just a way to hide from the
fact that we are scared.
Why have
you not asked for a raise? Because you are scared. Why do you not
have more clients? Because you are afraid. Why have you not pursued
that promotion? You got it, fear! Fear keeps us small, and it
violates the very reason we were put on this earth. Fear keeps us
from growing.
So, how
do we solve this conundrum? In a couple of words, baby steps. That
would be a paradox in-and-of itself, ya know? “Small steps are big
steps.” The truth is most people never takes any steps towards
conquering their fears. So, no matter how small the step, it is a big
step compared to doing nothing. And, over time, small steps add up to
big steps.
Again, I
believe we were put on this earth to grow. And, the main thing that
keeps us from growing is fear. That being the case, how do we
overcome our fears? One small step at a time.
