Back in
the 1970's two psychologists, Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, performed
research that lead to the creation of Self-Determination Theory.
If you
do not know, Self-Determination Theory is about intrinsic motivation.
There exists, basically, two types of motivation: intrinsic and
extrinsic.
Extrinsic
motivation, as the name suggests, is about things external to us.
This is the more common form of motivation. Extrinsic
motivation is about money, material possessions, titles, prestige,
etc.
Intrinsic
motivation, again from the name, is about things within ourselves. It
is more rare and more difficult to achieve. And, thus, it is more
powerful.
Self-Determination
Theory talks about the three pillars of intrinsic motivation. They
are: Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness.
Autonomy
is about independence, something all people yearn for. Competence is
about getting good at your job, whatever that job may be. And,
relatedness is predicated on the fact that humans are gregarious.
That is to say, we tend to enjoy ourselves more in the company of
others.
Are you
with me so far? Not too difficult, right? Well, let us add a layer of
complexity to make things more interesting. Do you see the any
contradictions in Self-Determination Theory? I can show you one.
Actually, it is not so much a contradiction as it is a paradox.
Autonomy
is at odds with relatedness, wouldn't you say? On the one hand,
humans yearn for freedom. At the same time, we crave connection. Uh
oh!
If you
have followed me, for any length of time, you know that I am
fascinated by paradoxes. First off, paradoxes are deliciously
scintillating. Above and beyond that, paradoxes are EVERYWHERE.
Personally,
I believe the paradox is woven into the fabric of the cosmos. Let me
give you just one, nerdy example. In quantum physics there exists
something called the double-slit experiment. I am not going to
explain the experiment right now. If you are interested, please
Google it.
What I
will say, about the double-slit, is that it demonstrates what is known
as “duality.” In simple terms, duality means that things can be
both waves and particles. Things can have a dual nature. It is pretty trippy, but it is also true.
Okay,
back to my point. What I am advocating, in this blog, and in life in
general, is that we practice become good at resolving paradoxes.
Today's paradox pertains to intrinsic motivation. Specifically, how
can we be both independent and connected?
I am
going to answer that question. But not today. I would rather you chew
on it for a while. I believe it is a good exercise. Mental exercises
help keep us flexible like Benjamin Franklin. They also give us
practice embracing the genius of “and.”
Next
week, I will post an answer to the question of how we can be both
independent and connected. Until then, I do encourage you to think
about it. Really think about it. At first glance the answer might
seem obvious. But, I would encourage you to not be so
dismissive.
Remember,
the tenets of Self-Determination Theory are not silly
abstractions. What Deci and Ryan have codified talks about deep,
human yearnings. True desires. How can we yearn for independence and,
simultaneously, yearn to be connected? Are we all just hopelessly
two-faced? Is this a cause of mixed emotions and indecision?
I would
encourage you to ask yourself how we can deeply desire things that
are opposites. I believe that having that answer is worthwhile. And,
next week, we will talk more about it.
