I am a
salesman. Specifically, I am in multilevel marketing. And, I'm pretty
damn proud of it. Right now I won't elaborate on the source of my
pride. Rather, I wanted to relay part on my business plan. What I do is I
recruit sales professionals into my network marketing company (another name
for multilevel marketing.) The reason being very simple.
Why bust your butt, for a one-time commission, when you get paid over
and over again for something you did once? Meaning, why trade time for money when you can build a cash-flowing asset that will continue to pay you even when you don't work?
As you might imagine, I spend a lot of time talking with salespeople. And, I am always amazed at the number of salespeople who hate sales. Not too long ago I was talking with a gentleman who had been in sales for 30 years. His entire working career. When he revealed to me that doesn't like selling, my jaw hit the floor. I guess he got stuck.
This is something I have heard quite a lot. People who are in the sales profession and yet dislike the sales profession. Is that a paradox or what? (I even talked to one guy, in Utah, who said he is a realtor because he hates realtors.) I believe there are many elements to this paradox. First off, a lot of people have a misunderstanding of what selling really is. This is something I will elaborate on in future posts.
Another problem is that a lot of people cannot emotionally accept they are in sales. This forces them to live in denial. This problem shows itself when salespeople comes up with some fancy title that hides what they really do. They might call themselves an “Account Executive” or a “Financial Planner” or a “Consultant” or whatever. In reality they are in sales. It is for these people that I wrote the first sentence of this post. Right now, I won't dig any deeper into this particular emotional element of selling. Though I will get into it in a future post.
Today I want to talk about another reason people dislike the sales profession. The reason is, they have failed at it. Now, a lot of people won't admit they failed. They might say they took a better offer, or they decided to go back to school, or whatever. However, in my book, quitting is failing. But, I realize, it's really hard for people to admit they have failed. And the real pisser is that, in sales, you fail more than you succeed. Isn't that something?
I think one of the keys to successful selling is to internalize the fact that you will fail much more often than you succeed. In other words, it has been said that, in sales, you fail your way to the top. Now, it is one thing to know this truth intellectually. But, to really get it, in your gut, is another thing altogether.
When you are new to a job, every fiber in your body is telling you, “Don't screw up. Don't screw up.” Because, as adults we have learned to avoid making mistakes. Why have we learned to avoid mistakes? It's mostly ego, I think. But, in order to explain how that works I need to go back to the discussion of something called cognitive distortions.
The phrase “cognitive distortion” was coined by Aaron Beck, one of the fathers of cognitive psychology. It is a concept I wrote about here: It's a mistake As I wrote, in that post, instead of saying cognitive distortion, we can simply talk of “thinking mistakes.” And, we humans, make them all the time.
The thinking mistake, that relates to this blog post, is “Personalization.” Personalization shows itself when we take an event and turn it into a part of our identity. That is to say, when we personalize things. People do it all the time. And, because of this, we assume other people are doing it to us as well. Meaning, we think other people are labeling us a failure when we fail at things (Hint, they aren't.) This is a very insidious problem. So, let me explain.
When we fail at something it is easy to label ourselves a failure. Do you see the problem? For example, if I attempt to sell something, and repeated come up short, it is very easy to assume I am a failure. But, that would be a mistake. It would mean taking an event and turning it into an aspect of my character. As you sit here and read these words you make think only a fool would make such a mistake. But, again, if you really take a minute to think it over, you'll see that people do this quite often. I know I have.
Most people probably do not deconstruct things in such a nerdy fashion. Nonetheless, the idea of personalize is something that society is very familiar with. We have all sorts of reminders, and sayings, that are meant to keep us from personalizing our failures. I guess the most famous would have to be a quote from Thomas Edison. While working on the invention of the light bulb, Edison is reported to have said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” What a great perspective! For whatever reason, Edison refused to personalize his mistakes and failures. Anybody can follow in his footsteps. But, few do. Because most people personalize their short-comings and this causes them to give up. I mean, why not quit? Who wants to keep going if we think failing means we are a failure?
The problem, of course, is not that we have failed. The problem is that we have personalized the failure. I wish I could tell you exactly when, in life, we start to personalize. Unfortunately, I don't have that answer. All I know is that we do it. I mean, have you ever watched a child fall down? They can just pick themselves up, as if nothing happened, and go about their merry way. But, what happens when an adult falls down? Good Lord! Their cheeks turn red and they run for the hills. Because falling down was not simply an event that happened. It wasn't just an inevitable result of gravity. Nope. Most people personalize. And so, falling down is taken to mean something about their personality or character. It could mean they are a klutz, or defective, or something. When I think we all know, thanks to gravity, even the most coordinated person is bound to biff it.
In summary, people tend to personalize. It's not the end of the world. It is what it is. Just accept that it happens and then you can work to fix it. If you understand, and accept, that thinking mistakes are common you might just say to yourself, “Don't personalize.” Alternatively, you might prefer to visualize the light bulb and remind yourself of what Edison said. Another option, if you are a sports fan, is to remind yourself that even the greatest hitters strike out more often than they homer. However you choice to internalize this idea, it's important that we remain aware of this cognitive distortion. Because only then can we fix it.
As you might imagine, I spend a lot of time talking with salespeople. And, I am always amazed at the number of salespeople who hate sales. Not too long ago I was talking with a gentleman who had been in sales for 30 years. His entire working career. When he revealed to me that doesn't like selling, my jaw hit the floor. I guess he got stuck.
This is something I have heard quite a lot. People who are in the sales profession and yet dislike the sales profession. Is that a paradox or what? (I even talked to one guy, in Utah, who said he is a realtor because he hates realtors.) I believe there are many elements to this paradox. First off, a lot of people have a misunderstanding of what selling really is. This is something I will elaborate on in future posts.
Another problem is that a lot of people cannot emotionally accept they are in sales. This forces them to live in denial. This problem shows itself when salespeople comes up with some fancy title that hides what they really do. They might call themselves an “Account Executive” or a “Financial Planner” or a “Consultant” or whatever. In reality they are in sales. It is for these people that I wrote the first sentence of this post. Right now, I won't dig any deeper into this particular emotional element of selling. Though I will get into it in a future post.
Today I want to talk about another reason people dislike the sales profession. The reason is, they have failed at it. Now, a lot of people won't admit they failed. They might say they took a better offer, or they decided to go back to school, or whatever. However, in my book, quitting is failing. But, I realize, it's really hard for people to admit they have failed. And the real pisser is that, in sales, you fail more than you succeed. Isn't that something?
I think one of the keys to successful selling is to internalize the fact that you will fail much more often than you succeed. In other words, it has been said that, in sales, you fail your way to the top. Now, it is one thing to know this truth intellectually. But, to really get it, in your gut, is another thing altogether.
When you are new to a job, every fiber in your body is telling you, “Don't screw up. Don't screw up.” Because, as adults we have learned to avoid making mistakes. Why have we learned to avoid mistakes? It's mostly ego, I think. But, in order to explain how that works I need to go back to the discussion of something called cognitive distortions.
The phrase “cognitive distortion” was coined by Aaron Beck, one of the fathers of cognitive psychology. It is a concept I wrote about here: It's a mistake As I wrote, in that post, instead of saying cognitive distortion, we can simply talk of “thinking mistakes.” And, we humans, make them all the time.
The thinking mistake, that relates to this blog post, is “Personalization.” Personalization shows itself when we take an event and turn it into a part of our identity. That is to say, when we personalize things. People do it all the time. And, because of this, we assume other people are doing it to us as well. Meaning, we think other people are labeling us a failure when we fail at things (Hint, they aren't.) This is a very insidious problem. So, let me explain.
When we fail at something it is easy to label ourselves a failure. Do you see the problem? For example, if I attempt to sell something, and repeated come up short, it is very easy to assume I am a failure. But, that would be a mistake. It would mean taking an event and turning it into an aspect of my character. As you sit here and read these words you make think only a fool would make such a mistake. But, again, if you really take a minute to think it over, you'll see that people do this quite often. I know I have.
Most people probably do not deconstruct things in such a nerdy fashion. Nonetheless, the idea of personalize is something that society is very familiar with. We have all sorts of reminders, and sayings, that are meant to keep us from personalizing our failures. I guess the most famous would have to be a quote from Thomas Edison. While working on the invention of the light bulb, Edison is reported to have said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” What a great perspective! For whatever reason, Edison refused to personalize his mistakes and failures. Anybody can follow in his footsteps. But, few do. Because most people personalize their short-comings and this causes them to give up. I mean, why not quit? Who wants to keep going if we think failing means we are a failure?
The problem, of course, is not that we have failed. The problem is that we have personalized the failure. I wish I could tell you exactly when, in life, we start to personalize. Unfortunately, I don't have that answer. All I know is that we do it. I mean, have you ever watched a child fall down? They can just pick themselves up, as if nothing happened, and go about their merry way. But, what happens when an adult falls down? Good Lord! Their cheeks turn red and they run for the hills. Because falling down was not simply an event that happened. It wasn't just an inevitable result of gravity. Nope. Most people personalize. And so, falling down is taken to mean something about their personality or character. It could mean they are a klutz, or defective, or something. When I think we all know, thanks to gravity, even the most coordinated person is bound to biff it.
In summary, people tend to personalize. It's not the end of the world. It is what it is. Just accept that it happens and then you can work to fix it. If you understand, and accept, that thinking mistakes are common you might just say to yourself, “Don't personalize.” Alternatively, you might prefer to visualize the light bulb and remind yourself of what Edison said. Another option, if you are a sports fan, is to remind yourself that even the greatest hitters strike out more often than they homer. However you choice to internalize this idea, it's important that we remain aware of this cognitive distortion. Because only then can we fix it.
If you
are in the profession of sales don't let personalization get the best
of you. The fact of the matter is, you will fail more often than you
succeed. And, always remember that the failures can run in a
string. Have you ever seen those screens, at a casino, that show the
last winning numbers on a roulette table? And, have you ever seen one of the colors hit multiple times in a row? That is just the way it works. Let's
say landing on red is equivalent to failing. The fact is we might
land on red nine or ten times in a row. As we have discussed, the problem is not the failure. The problem is when we take the failures and allow them to define us.
You can not have success without failure. So, listen to what the founder of IBM said. If you want to succeed, increase your rate of failure. (Paradox!) I will leave you with a really good blog post which, for some reason, not a lot of people read: A Good One I think the name of the post must have been the failure. Oh well! Actually, that reminds me of a simple technique they teach in Cognitive Therapy. When you screw up, just say, "Oh well."
You can not have success without failure. So, listen to what the founder of IBM said. If you want to succeed, increase your rate of failure. (Paradox!) I will leave you with a really good blog post which, for some reason, not a lot of people read: A Good One I think the name of the post must have been the failure. Oh well! Actually, that reminds me of a simple technique they teach in Cognitive Therapy. When you screw up, just say, "Oh well."
