There
exists an excellent paradox that goes like this, “I finally got a
grip when I learned to let go.” Have you heard that one before? I
bet you have. It really is an important idea to remember. Here is
why. Human beings tend to be control freaks. We like to feel as
though we are in control. And, often, the instinct to control can
backfire.
Are you
aware that many more people die every year, in automobile accidents
than do in airplane accidents? Here is the thing. As we know, lots of
people have fears about flying in planes. And yet, very few people
have a fear of driving in a car. Doesn't really make sense, does it?
Well, it does make sense when you consider the human desire to be in
control.
As a
passenger, on an airplane, you know you are not in control. Your
safety is in someone else's hands. But, when you are driving a car,
you are in control. And so, we do not experience fear while driving.
Even though we know, statistics, automobiles are much more dangerous
than airplanes. It all has to do with control. Humans love the
feeling of being in control. Even when it's an illusion.
On any
number of things, being is control is just fine. Controlling your
blood pressure, controlling your weight, these are good things.
Trying to control people, however, is a recipe for disaster. Because,
while it's true you desire to be in control, the other person wants
to be in control as well. So, what will happen? You might get
compliance, over the short-term, but another element of human nature
will kick in. The other element, of which I speak, is the principle
of reciprocity.
Reciprocity
is not an everyday word. However, it does affect all aspects of human
life. We don't use the word reciprocity. Instead, we typically
say things like equality and fairness. And these are
very strong emotional drivers. When a favor is returned with a favor,
this is a good manifestation of reciprocity. But there also exists a
dark side to fairness.
When a
person feels they have been harmed, or done wrong, reciprocity can
lead to a desire for revenge. I believe this is what happened with
that deranged killer, in Santa Barbara, last week. If you watch the
videos he made he kept referring to fairness. He kept saying things
like, “It's not fair.” And, as we know, he went out to exact his
revenge on innocent college students.
I do not
bring up that mass murderer to be morbid. My point is simply to
convey the power of reciprocity. It is so powerful it can lead people
to kill. Now, in this post, and in daily life, we are talking about
something less traumatic. And that kid, in Santa Barbara, was clearly
delusional. But, the concept is important none the less. If you try
to control people there is a good chance they will come to resent
you. They might even desire revenge. Again, most people are not
murderers. I only used that example to illustrate a point. The
motivation to seek revenge is a strong one.
Let's
bring it back to the point of this post. The paradox of leadership is
that you get more control by being less controlling. It doesn't
matter if you lead a business, a church, a family, a baseball team or
whatever. You don't maintain real control by being controlling. If
you need people, to help you achieve a goal, you want the best people
possible. And great people hate being micromanaged. They hate being
controlled.
A few
years ago Geoff Smart and Randy Street wrote an interesting book
titled Who.
As the book says, when it comes to business, and work, the who
is more important than the what.
Meaning, success is all about execution. It is not so much about
great ideas. Ideas are a dime a dozen. But good, performing people
are always in short supply. If you want a successful business you
need good people. You need what the book calls, “A Players.”
The
following is an excerpt I have taken straight out of Smart and
Street's book:
A
Players have never liked being micromanaged. It runs against their
grain–the inherent characteristics that make them standouts in the
first place. That's even more true with Gen-X and Gen-Y A Players.
Nothing will scare them off faster than the prospect of working for
an overly directive boss or board. They're looking for positions
where they will be left alone to excel.
The
problem is that offering the sort of freedom A Players demand and
expect scares some executives because it makes them feel like they
are giving up control. This is one of the great paradoxes of
management. In reality, great leaders gain more control by ceding
control to their A Players. They know they are bringing talented
people onto their team.
The
scorecard tells them that, and the scorecard also tells new hires the
outcomes by which they will be measured. Once it's all out on the
table like that, there is no need for micromanagement. Instead, you
need to create an environment where A Players like these can thrive.
George
Buckley of 3M grants freedom by building trust with his employees. “A
lot of CEOs think the role of the CEO is to be aloof, like a judge in
a courtroom,” he told us. “But the role of the CEO is to inspire
people, and you cannot inspire people unless you get to know them and
them you. Don't cut corners on that. It takes energy. CEOs are
sometimes afraid to be real people. If you want to extract as much
value as possible out of somebody in an organization, you have to let
them be themselves. Maybe they talk too much. Maybe they are awkward
in front of others. Nobody is perfect. It is not about immediate
competency; it's about confidence that builds that competency. If you
know that I am confident in you, you are likely to take more risks,
to work a little harder, because you know that I am not going to take
your head off if something doesn't work perfectly. That builds
competence. Extend the hand of trust. And occasionally extend the
hand of friendship.”
Nothing
sells freedom more than giving candidates free access to the people
around you so they can ask whatever they want about your style … In
the not-for-profit sector, a sense of purpose and the freedom to
pursue it are often the best selling points a manager has to work
with. George Hamilton, head of the Institute for Sustainable
Communities says, “We try to convince them that what we are doing
makes a big difference in people's lives, and it does. We do
tremendous work in the field. But we're also very business-like, very
results-oriented, and that's extremely appealing to a lot of people.
They need to feel they will be productive. They want to know what
their responsibilities are going to be and if they will have enough
opportunities to show what they can do. Managing these people can be
a real challenge because you have to create enough space for them to
show what they can do.”
Freedom
matters to today's workforce, and especially to the most valuable
among them. A Players want to operate without micromanagement,
develop their own leadership style, and prove their own worth.
End
of quote.
I
think we all know this kind of stuff but it bares repeating.
Leadership is about choosing the direction we are headed. And, it is
about creating what Smart and Street call the “scorecard.” But,
after the direction has been pointed to, after the mission has been
selected, it's a pretty good idea to stay out of people's way.
