Last week I talked about avoidance behavior. I said, we avoid doing things
that make us anxious and uncomfortable. We tend to stay in our comfort zones. We
tend to take the path of least resistance.
When
dealing with troubling thoughts and emotions the solution is a 2-D
solution. Meaning, we can either: Distract or Dispute. Avoidance falls
into the Distract category.
When
dealing with tough situations, one option is we can distract
ourselves so we do not dwell on the negative. The idea is to avoid
thinking disturbing thoughts.
Sometimes
this can be very adaptive. An example would be when good friends help
keep you busy after a rough break-up or job-loss.
Then, sometimes
distraction can be quite maladaptive. An example is when you choose (too frequently) to distract yourself with a vice. Drugs, alcohol,
gambling, gaming, sex, facebook, etc. These distractions are
easy to become depend upon.
And, of course, all strategies are capable of both positive and negative outcomes. Too much distraction and you never look for another job or relationship. A little vice can actually be adaptive. While excessive vice is usually destructive.
Teddy
Roosevelt used the distraction strategy to outrun his depressive tendencies. He simply stayed very busy. And, by-and-large, it did work. One problem is, this strategy of
distracting yourself can take a lot of energy to sustain.
When
it came to his physical health, Roosevelt seems to have taken a
number of shortcuts. He ended up dying of a heart attack at only 60 years of age.
The
first step is to truly understand the meaning of the words
adaptive and maladaptive. One way to think of it is that adaptive
thoughts and behaviors help us achieve our goals, whatever those
goals may be. And, maladaptive thoughts and behaviors inhibit the
attainment of our goals.
Remember,
goals do not just mean things like making money or losing weight. If
your goal is to not be sad, it is maladaptive to sit and dwell on sad
thoughts.
Sometimes
the distract strategy is the right call. A shining example is when
dealing with someone who is very mad. The key, again, is to know
which direction you would like to head and then make decisions
accordingly.
As
pertains this blog, I hope you can see how adaptive behaviors are basically the definition of effectiveness! We will discuss the dispute strategy in the
future.
Have
an adaptive week :)
