Marshall
Goldsmith is a pretty well known executive/leadership coach. Not too
long ago I read a little blog post of his and I really liked it. So,
I have decided to pass the information along. The following comes
directly from Mr. Goldsmith.
If
you are an entrepreneur, you need a team. This will/may require that
you coach people.
My
job
is to help people achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. Every
once in a while I run across someone who doesn't want to change. What
do I do to convince them that the change is good for them?
Nothing.
Have
you ever tried to change the behavior of an adult who had absolutely
no interest in changing? How much luck did you have with your
attempts at this "religious conversion"? Have you ever
tried to change the behavior of a spouse, partner or parent who had
no interest in changing? How did that work out for you?
My
guess is that if you have ever tried to change someone else's
behavior, and that person did not want to change, you have been
consistently unsuccessful in changing their behavior. You may have
even alienated the person you were trying to enlighten?
If
they don't care, don't waste your time.
Research
on coaching is clear and consistent. Coaching is most successful when
applied to people who want to improve -- not when applied to people
who have no interest in changing. This is true whether you are acting
as a professional coach, a manager, a family member, or a friend.
Your
time is very limited. The time you waste trying to change people who
do not care is time stolen from people who do want to change.
As
an example, back in Valley Station, Kentucky, my mother was an
outstanding first grade school teacher. In Mom's mind, I was always
in the first grade, my Dad was in the first grade, and all of our
relatives were in the first grade.
She
is always correcting everybody.
My
Dad's name was Bill. Mom was always scolding "Bill! Bill!"
when he did something wrong. We bought a talking bird. In a
remarkably short period of time the bird started screeching "Bill!
Bill!" Now Dad was being corrected by a bird.
Years
passed. When Mom corrected his faulty grammar for the thousandth
time, Dad sighed, "Honey, I am 70 years old. Let it go.”
If you are still trying to change people who have no interest in changing, take Dad's advice. Let it go.
If you are still trying to change people who have no interest in changing, take Dad's advice. Let it go.
