We
are now on to Habit #5 of Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I think this habit is extremely
straightforward. At least it is on an intellectual level. However,
when it comes to execution, when it comes to implementing this habit,
it is one of the hardest. In fact, in this post (click here) I
suggest that Habit #5 is the second most difficult of the habits.
I
actually could not think of a lot to say about this habit. Seeking to
understand before we try to be understood is a pretty simple idea.
Simple in theory but difficult in
practice. So, let me quote Covey. Central to the habit of “Seek
first to understand, then to be understood,” is the idea of
empathic listening.
Covey
writes, “When I say empathic listening, I mean listening with
intent to understand.” He continues, “Next
to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is
psychological survival – to be understood, to be affirmed, to be
validated, to be appreciated.”
Obviously,
this habit is all about listening. And, as Peter Drucker would say,
listening is not a skill. Listening is a discipline. To seek first to
understand, requires that we listen, which requires discipline. And,
that is a lot of what makes this habit so difficult.
So
often we think that we do not have time to listen. We all have a lot
on our plates and time is of the essence. Covey says, “There are
people who protest that empathic listening takes too much time. It
may take a little more time initially but it saves so much time
downstream.”
Miscommunication
is a very real problem in this day and age. We are all extremely
busy. Or, at least we convince ourselves that we are. We are always
in a hurry. And, being in such a rush causes us to be much more
likely to fool up our communication. Often times this
miscommunication causes more problems than it solves. As paradoxical
as it may sound, being in a hurry can waste a lot of time. Sometimes
we need to slow down to speed up.
As
it applies to entrepreneurship, this habit is at the very heart of
selling. When it comes to selling our goods we are well advised to
behave like doctors. That is to say, we need to diagnose before we
prescribe.
Entrepreneurs
are problem solvers. In this way, entrepreneurs are a lot like
doctors. The essence of economic value derives from the solving of
real problems. As it turns out, there are any number of people out there trying
to solve false problems. Meaning, they bring a product or service to
the market that solves a problem people do not really care about.
So,
a fundamental question is, “What do people really care about?”
That is a diagnostic question. Again, we want to diagnose before we
prescribe. And, diagnosing before we prescribe is simply another way
of saying, understand before you solve. If you want to sell somebody your solution, you are well-advised to first understand their problem. As the name of the book suggests, this all about becoming more effective.
One word of caution, do not assume you know people's problems. I think we all know that cliche about what happens when we assume. Rather than assuming we need to ask questions and listen.
