What Do People Really Need?

Last week we discussed that most important of French words, anomie. An acceptable synonym for anomie is confusion, and the reality is life in the western world is very confusing.

A core cause of anomie is freedom and a proximal cause is bullshit. In the western world, in the world of freedom, most people are full of shit most of the time.

So, what are we to do? Probably a good starting point is to ask the question, what do people actually need? Fortunately that question has been the subject of research for a very long time, and researchers have made strong headway.

I, for one, am firmly in alignment with the school of Self-Determination Theory, or SDT for short. SDT is the brain child of Edward Deci and Richard Ryan at the University of Rochester in New York.

You can think of it this way. We know life has biological necessities, but does it have psychological necessities? Most people know the biological necessities of life, they are: air, water, and food. But, very few people know life's psychological necessities. Deci and Ryan to the rescue.

According to SDT there are three irreducible, human psychological needs and they happen to form the acronym CAR. Let us consider them in reverse order.

R stands for Relatedness and as a place holder you can think of the word Relationship. More accurately, relatedness is the desire to love and be loved, to care and be cared for.

A stands for Autonomy and as a place holder you can think of the word Freedom. More accurately, autonomy means the desire to be the captain of your own ship.

Let us pause for a second to scream Uh-Oh! Because, if you are paying attention, you can already see a paradox. Remember from last week what a paradox is? A simple definition of paradox is "a true contradiction."

Follow me here. One psychological need is relationship which creates constraints, and another is freedom which removes constraints. So, am I telling you we simultaneously wish to be free and constrained? Yes, that is exactly what I am saying. As Stephen Covey would say, it isn't logical it is psychological.

Paradox is something I will return to often because, try as we may, there is simply no way for humans to truly avoid paradox. So, what are we to do? Well, fortunately, I haven't told you the third psychological necessity.

C stands for competence and it doesn't require much explanation. Competence is a belief and a feeling that we are effective in the world. To be candid, I hadn't learn about SDT when I titled this blog "On Effectiveness and Entrepreneurship." I simply listen to the yearnings of my soul, and I have long recognized a deep desire to be effective aka competent.

As mentioned, one of the things we need to become competent in is resolving paradoxes. Notice how I didn't say we need to be experts. I am not suggesting we become philosophy professors who aim to master paradox. Mastery isn't required. Good old competence will do.

We also yearn to be competent at our jobs, and our hobbies and anything else we do. So, while relatedness and autonomy will always be something of a balancing act, there is zero evidence of an upper limit to competence. In other words, the more the merrier.

I hope you choose to stay with me.

😃

Ann-Ah-Mee

Ann-Ah-Mee. That is how you pronounce the French word anomie.

Anomie is a condition which plagues any and all societies built upon the idea of self-determination. And yes, plagues is the right word. Stated differently, anomie is a condition common to western civilization, which is to say any nation built upon the core values of freedom and equality, with the quintessential example being the United States.

For our purposes, an acceptable definition of anomie is "A social condition defined by a breakdown of standards or guidance for individuals to follow." Think about it. It used to be people simply did what their parents did.

From time immemorial, as a general rule, women were homemaker and men worked in the same field as their fathers. And field is the right word because, as we know, a large percent of the population used to be farmers. Alternatively, if your father was a blacksmith you would be a blacksmith. If your father was a shoemaker you were a shoemaker. Furthermore, in the past people generally ascribed to the same moral foundation/religion as their parents. But, today everything has changed.

As we know, today's society is defined by near total mobility. You can live wherever you want, do whatever you want, marry whoever you want, worship whatever you want, etc. We live in a state of near total freedom which, at first glance, sounds pretty great. But, have you ever considered the reality that blessings and curses are often the exact same thing? Total freedom sounds liberating, and, to an extent, it is. However, it shouldn't take too much reflection to realize total freedom is an enormous responsibility.

The reason total freedom is an enormous responsibility is because it leads to something called the paradox of choice. If you aren't familiar with the word paradox, it simply means a true contradiction. Examples would be: never say never, the only constant is change, we fail our way to success, etc. Those statements are contradictions and yet they are true.

At first glance, most of us would say the more choice we have the better. But it simply isn't true. Too much choice overwhelms us and causes harm in the form of confusion and doubt. That is the paradox of choice. Too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing. Obviously it is a contradiction to say that good things can be bad things, but it is also true. It is a paradox. Stated differently, it is easy to say "moderation in all things" but is much more difficult to do. Since I am a dyed in the wool food addict, let me give you two examples using food. 

In 2006, Michael Pollan wrote a fun little book called The Omnivore's Dilemma. If you haven't read the book, let me give you the spoiler. Very simply, the omnivore's dilemma is when you can eat anything what to eat become an increasingly difficult decision. It is pretty well established that humans are omnivores, so we can eat almost anything. Thus, what to eat can be a hard question to answer. Have you ever found yourself tired of having to decide what is for dinner? That is because the doubt and confusion which accompanies the paradox of choice can become exhausting. The phrase most people these days are familiar with is "decision fatigue," and it is a very real thing.

More specifically, let me give you an example using the fruit spread most people call jam or jelly. Researchers arranged to handout samples of jelly at a grocery store and they setup two research conditions. For one period of time they offered twenty-four varieties of jelly, and for an equal but different period of time they offered six varieties of jelly. The question for you is, which do you think led to the sale of more jelly? In fact, when only six options were available 30% of people bought a jar versus only 3% of those exposed to twenty-four options. Six options is more manageable which led to many more people making the decision to buy. Twenty-four options is more overwhelming and led people to shelve the decision.

Freedom of choice is a great thing but it often leads to anomie, confusion and suffering. As I end for today, I will address an obvious question. Am I advocating for an artificial restriction on our freedom of choice? The answer, of course, is yes and no. LOL! Stick around and I will explain!