Never ask a barber if you need a haircut

This blog is intended to discuss effectiveness and entrepreneurship. And, I believe, the two things are very interconnected.

Have you ever heard the saying, "Never ask a barber if you need a haircut"? If you did ask the barber, what would be the obvious answer? The answer would be, "Yes."

I think psychologists might call that the Self-Serving Bias. We tend to see the world in a way that benefits us.

Upton Sinclair put it this way, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.”

In many ways, this is an extension of last week's idea of thinking for yourself. Though it does take time, it is wise to develop your own gauges and your ability to think for yourself.

Just because there is a saying....

....does not mean it is true.

I know a guy who is constantly referring to known sayings. And, whenever he refers to these sayings, he acts as though they are gospel.

He announces things like, "There is a saying, 'People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.'" I am not necessarily onboard.

Just because you have heard a saying, does not make it true.

In this blog, I discuss effectiveness. And, I do not believe it is wise to blindly follow tradition. Which is what you do when you ascribe to 'sayings.'

What is effective is to sit on your butt and THINK. Sure, it can be tedious and lonely. But it is important. Because, in business and entrepreneurship, if you follow the crowd, you will likely get slaughtered.

The sage, Warren Buffett, would say, you are neither right nor wrong because people agree with you. If you want to be effective, and if you want to be an entrepreneur, you will need to learn to think for yourself.

We all know Steve Jobs said that thing about his customers not knowing what they want until he shows it to them. This is a skill set that is difficult, rare, and valuable.

I like the way Peter Drucker would put it. Drucker would say you need to do the long, hard work of defining the task and results.

The definition of the task is, and should, controversial. It is the commitment of present resources to an unknown, and unknowable, future. Such behavior is, by definition, risky. Consensus is not the goal. Effectiveness is.

Drucker would also say, what 'everybody knows' is usually 20 years out of date. Stated differently, what everybody knows is often wrong. Because, like Ferris Bueller said, "The world moves pretty fast."

As an entrepreneur, the status quo is your enemy. So, be careful of over-reliance on old sayings. Instead, practice your ability to think for yourself.

Inspiration is Curious

Motivation is a funny thing. Who does not like feeling motivated?

Last week, I talked about the achieving society. And, to achieve, we need to be motivated.

The funny thing (the paradox) is that action comes before motivation.

Here is a quote from the painter, Chuck Close:

So true!

This is why I once wrote a post titled "Discipline over Motivation" Click here to see it.

If we are interested in effectiveness, than we need to be much more interested in discipline and self-control, than we are in inspiration and motivation.

The idea of a Muse might be more sexy. But, let us speak the truth. The Muse is a ruse!

Get to it!

An Achiever's Paradox

If you are ambitious, your motivation can backfire. What a pisser!

What I mean is this. The same fire that drives you, can burn you, when you come up short. One way we get burned is when we excessively beat ourselves up for mistakes and failures.

There is a fine line between striving for excellence and perfectionism. And, it is very easy to go too far.

I have heard it said that all people desire acceptance and achievement. Especially in the United States. And, I believe the two things are interconnected.

Here in America, achievement is an important motivator. We were founded upon the Protestant work ethic. David McClelland called it The Achieving Society. All people are expected to achieve and succeed. It can be a lot of pressure.

As paradoxical as it sounds, highly ambitious people also need a good dosage of self-compassion. That's right, you need to be able to forgive yourself. You need to forgive yourself, when you make mistakes, or come up short of your ambition.

Self-compassion is not the same thing as permissiveness or laziness. Self-compassion should be applied when we strive, valiantly, yet come up short. And, come up short we will!

The only way to avoid mistakes is to do nothing. And, of course, by doing nothing, you will achieve nothing. Not a real option.

Listen, there is nothing wrong with having high standards. There is nothing necessarily wrong with ambition.

The problem is there will be times when you fail to meet your own high standard. This is not the time for self-flagellation. This is the time for self-compassion.

Forgive yourself, for the mistake, so you can move forward.

For more information, on this subject, check out the work of Kristin Neff.